My mother called me last night and asked if I was sitting down. This is always worrisome as it generally means a). someone is dead or b). a teen aged relative is either pregnant or going to be a baby daddy. Well I was pleased to hear that neither of the aforementioned scenarios were the case. However, the beautiful Kwanzan Cherry tree in my folk’s front yard just fell over in the night. My mother referred to it as a “gentle collapse.” This is my new catch phrase – gentle collapse. It just has a lovely ring to it. It’s like saying once more cousin Brandy finds herself in a family way instead of that whore Brandy is knocked up again. So now, on those occasions when I feel a mental breakdown coming on I plan to say – I am terribly sorry, but I am experiencing a gentle collapse and can’t possibly make it to your Ginsu Knife demonstration party tonight. Oh how I shall miss that Kwanzan tree! It was so glorious and, like the spring after the long, cold winter – it offered hope. Its’ delicate pink flowers littered the front lawn making a beautiful blanket of blossoms – the perfect backdrop for family, prom and wedding photos now tucked away in the closet of my mind – dusted off and taken out once in a while to remind me of all that was and all that might might have been. Goodbye dear Kwanzan – you will be sorely missed – I am glad your departure was a gentle collapse.